keep.your.smile

Ah Rie Beau

Dimanche 29 avril 2007 à 17:01

Faut-il vraiment que ce soit arriver pour qu'on en vienne a ca ?

Pka faut-il qu'il ait agit comme ça alors que j'étais éffondrée ?

Etait-il vraiment important des entendre parler d'evangiles ?

Aura-t-il fallut cet épisode pour une telle remise en question ?

Pka est-ce que c'est ce jour là qu'on s'est vu pour la première fois ?

Pense-t-il la même chose que moi vis-a-vis de ca ?

Faut-il dire merci aux gens qui sont là pour nous ou sont-ils conscient qu'ils comptent énormément pour nous et qu'on leur est gratifiants ?

Ils étaient là. Tous là. Sans aucune exception. Une centaine de personne si ce n'est plus. Des gens venus de partout. Belge, Français, Suisse, Americains. Grands, petits, minces, gros, blonds, bruns, roux. Souriant, pleurant, rigolant, effrondrés. Bien habillés, mal-coiffés, démaquillés. On était là. Non pas pour se retrouver pour une occasion voulue. Non pas juste pour boire un coup. Non pas pour quelqu'un qu'on connait a peine. Mais pour ELLE. Symbole de vie, de force, de courage, de beauté. Une incontestable femme qui nous a appris énormément a chacun. Quelqu'un d'exceptionnelle. Quelqu'un d'aimée et d'aimante. Quelqu'un que jamais personne ne pourra oublier. Jamais.

Ca n'a pas été simple. Loin de là. Mais ils y sont arrivés, j'y suis arrivé, on y est tous arrivés. Parce qu'on était ensemble, a se soutenir, a se redonner quelques forces. Tout ca grace a elle.

Il était 14h, on arrive au funérarium, dans la voiture il y a ma mère, ma tante, mon cousin, ma cousine et moi. Mon père mon oncle et mon frère nous rejoindrons a l'église, le crématoire, très peu pour eux. On est les premier, mais quelques secondes après arrive une voiture, puis une autre et une dizaine d'autre. Le temps de faire la bise a tout le monde, de se présenter
-"tu es ?" - "Audrey, la fille de Nadine, la petite fille de Maggy" -"Et moi je suis la fille aînée de la première fille a Jean".
Tout se bouscule dans mon crâne, jme demandait d'ou venait tout ces gens que je n'avais jamais vu, dont je n'avais jamais entendu parler et qu'ils ne savaient pas que j'existais. Que des adultes. Et puis une voiture arrive, comment ne pas la repérer ? Elle est verte fluo !! Cinq personnes en descendent, dont trois enfants, ils font la tournée des bises. D'ailleurs a se sujet, une convention devrait être fait, une, deux, trois ou quatre bises ? Et puis Thierry arrive "Audrey c'est ca ? Moi c'est Thierry le cousin de ta mère, le cousin de Kiki aussi !", je coordonne vite fait ca dans ma tête et sans même ayant pris le temps de lui répondre "Donc wala mes trois enfants, Luc, qui a ton âge, Anne et Maud". Là, le lien se fait vite, Luc, mon âge, mon cousin, mais pourquoi je le connais pas ? Quelques bises et puis s'en vont, je vais dire bonjour a Gustave, tata momo, Mauricette et autres personnes que je connais.
Non, je ne vais pas voir le corps, j'y suis allé le matin déja et j'en suis ressortie en très mauvais état, a la limite de m'écrouler parterre, même si on m'avait prévenu, je n'avais pas imaginé ca, tellement bizarre, très singulier et si vide en même temps. Du noir, deux chaises, un cercueil et elle allongée dedans. Pierrot vient d'en sortir, je vais le voir, il me fait rire ce Pierrot, je l'ai rencontré que le matin même, mais son accent belge me fait rire. Finalement, je crois qu'a ce moment là je ne réalisais rien, tellement de bises, de retrouvailles, de présentations, qu'on en aurait presque oublié qu'on est au funérarium. Ou alors nous évitons tous de pleurer maintenant pour faire une énorme marre dans l'église ? Jsais pas.
"Si des personnes veulent voir le corps une dernière fois c'est maintenant ou jamais" Personne ne bouge le moindre petit doigt. Je vois Luc adossé au mur là-bas, moi je suis coincée en train de parler avec Théo et sa fille qui est une ancienne dépressive, jme serais bien retenue d'écouter sa vie qui me déprime et qui me rend mal-a-l'aise mais elle a l'air tellement contente de me raconter ca que finalement j'ose pas. "Remontez en voiture et suivez le corbillard" Wala, tout commence, j'ai raté la dernière occasion que j'avais de la voir, les regrets commencent déja, et puis jremonte en voiture avec les autres. On est les deuxième derrière le corbillard, devant nous, y'a cette voiture verte fluo, derrière y'a Pierrot et ma grand-mère et derrière s'en suit une vingtaine de voitures.
Eglise de Quincy. D'autres personne sont là, viennent d'arriver de Belgique. Encore dire bonjour, toujours faire quatre bises, tout le temps être souriante, avec obligation de se présenter. Et puis le corbillard ouvre son coffre, quatre hommes en costard noir prennent le cercueil et entrent dans l'église. Ma grand mère m'appele, je vais vers elle, je la vois avec le prêtre (ou pas prêtre, dsl mais moi jmy connais pas en catholissisme !). Il a marié ma mère, il a marié ma tante, il a marié d'autres gens de la famille, il en a baptisé un bon nombre, on me dit qu'il fait presque parti de la famille, j'acquiesse. Et puis on entre, "la famille proche se met a droite ou a gauche, les autres sur les bancs, en face", suis-je considérée comme famille proche ? Tata momo me tire la main et m'asseoit a côté d'elle. Mon frère, ou est-il ? Il faut qu'il soit avec moi, jreste pas içi comme ça entourée d'inconnus. Ouf, le wala, il se met a ma droite. A ma gauche se trouve tata momo, et a sa gauche ma grand-mère. A droite de mon frère se trouver Stéphane, puis Benoit. Ca va, jme sent rassurée. Et puis, après avoir fait le tour de l'église du regard, mes yeux se portent vers ca, en face de moi, a approximativement un mètre cinquante devant moi, le cercueil. Entouré de quelques centaines de fleurs ainsi que quatre cierges.

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