keep.your.smile

Ah Rie Beau

Jeudi 30 avril 2009 à 22:35

Aujourd'hui j'ai compris. Compris qu'on a beau faire tous les efforts du monde, rien n'est jamais à la hauteur de nos espérances. Que quoi qu'il advienne on ne peut compter sur rien, sur personne, et encore moins sur soi-même. N'est-on pas sensé nous auto-soutenir ? Ne devons nous pas approuver nos propres choix ? Et pourtant. Et pourtant.

Quand tu m'as dit que tu partais pour toujours je ne pensais pas que toujours durerait des mois. J'ai eut la naïveté de penser qu'au bout d'une semaine tu reviendrais. J'ai cru qu'après tout ce que nous avions vécu tu ne pourrais passer l'impasse. Aujourd'hui j'ai compris que si. Tu as continué à avancer, tu es allé de l'avant et tu as l'air de t'en sortir plutôt bien. Tu te portes à merveille et j'en suis heureuse pour toi. Et toi ? Toi qui ne me porte plus aucune considération. Toi qui ne te soucis plus de moi comme autrefois. Toi, comme réagirais-tu si aujourd'hui je te disais que je suis heureuse dans les bras d'un autre ? Je n'avais pas l'impression de t'avoir perdu définitivement ce jour-là. Aujourd'hui j'ai compris que si.

Tu m'as appris à l'aimer. C'est incontestable. Maintenant dès que je l'entends je pense à toi. Je n'arrive plus à me concentrer sur quoi que ce soit lors des premières notes. Je me replonge alors dans la bulle de bonheur que nous portions à bout de bras. Tu m'as fait grandir, tu m'as apporté beaucoup, tu m'as appris sur moi-même. Tu m'as aidé à dépasser mes limites. Et je ne regrette rien de ce qu'il s'est passé. J'aime le fait qu'on continue de se parler, de prendre allégrement des nouvelles. J'aime savoir que je peux compter sur toi.  Aujourd'hui j'ai compris que si, il y a une vie après une rupture douloureuse.

Encore ? Cette fois-ci j'en rigole. Et c'est bien la première fois. Certes cela me retourne toujours autant, mais maintenant j'ai de quoi pallier à cette douleur. J'ai réussi à aller au-delà. Personne ne m'a aidé pour ça, tout le monde avait laissé tomber, pensant que jamais je n'y arriverais. Je crois que c'est une de mes plus grandes fiertés. Avoir dépassé ça, avoir dépassé tout ce qui me liait à toi. Admettre qu'il s'agissait d'une utopie, d'un rêve complètement fou. Un rêve qui à certes faillit se réaliser ... mais finalement, un rêve n'est-il pas fait pour rester dans son monde ? Je ne me pensais pas capable d'accomplir ça toute seule. Aujourd'hui j'ai compris que si.

N'oubliez pas qu'hier est parti pour toujours.

J'ai certes fais beaucoup d'erreur, mais je ne compte pas recommencer. Je peux changer la donne, et je vais le faire. Cette fois-ci crois-moi, tu ne me fileras pas entre les doigts. Peu importe nos coups de gueule à répétition, peu importe nos prises de tête qui se terminent par des portes qui claquent. Car s'il y a bien une chose que je ne compte pas perdre, c'est ton sourire. Ton sourire lorsque j'ouvre la porte et que nous nous retrouvons nez à nez après des journées parfois difficiles.

http://keep.your.smile.cowblog.fr/images/wimi.jpg
 
C'est un signe ! Ah, signe de quoi ? Euh, je n'sais pas, mais je t'aime <3
Forever ? And ever ?

Par monochrome.dream le Jeudi 30 avril 2009 à 23:12
Quand on est capable de concevoir, de comprendre et d'écrire un tel article, c'est vraiment bon signe... ça veut "byebye l'Amertume, je revis !". Et ça, c'est VRAIMENT chouette à lire !
Par tite vivi le Mercredi 6 mai 2009 à 15:10
J'ai rien compris xD. Honte à moi je pense. Enfin j'crois avoir compris quelques petites choses quand même. Bref on s'en fout. J'commente juste pour te dire que cette photo est immonde même s'il y a prescription. Un signe de quelque chose d'inconnu peut-être, mais en tout cas je t'aime aussi.
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